Diary :)

Sunday, May 8, 2016

My thoughts

If you're someone that I talk to frequently,

and observed that i suddenly stopped talking,

it means that I'm facing stress.

When i'm stress,

I don't talk to people.

'Cuz all I would be saying

"stress....stress'' which i don't think ppl wanna hear all that. lol.

so i tend to avoid my grumpy self from ppl..^^;

sorry if you think i'm being anti-social lol.

Also, i tend to make my hair shorter by hiding them sometimes.

This was due to the fact that I'm focusing alot in class that my hair is in the way.

But you know what?

If you wanna talk to me, just talk.

I won't bite ppl lol. (unless u annoy me like one of my classmate does. LOL)

if you see that I don't smile much, it's alright, i'm not emo-ing or something.

I'm just simply tired/bored/thinking of how to finish up my work. lol

to be honest, i'm a different person when i'm in sch.

At sch, all i do was in focus mode, do stuff...

you guys might think i'm a workaholic.

but...i just wanted to finish stuff asap, thats all. lol.

cause i dun wanna drag my assignments late to do. TT__TT

At home, i just wanted to sleep or play mobile games,

i don't have the mood to do assignments at home,

i get distracted easily. andd bed was sooo tempting to sleep lolol

Did i mention that I actually don't really have an "actual" friend in school?

The one that l'm always be with, isn't really considered a friend...

but more of a "partner for sch work".

She's a "classmate-partner" to me.

Surprised? Maybe for you. lol :)

Friends and classmates are two different things.

She was never really a friend of mine to begin with,

Cause I know she has her own friends to be with.

My actual friend is not in my sch, but she's studying A level in M.I.

So sometimes you see me using phone rightt?

that means i'm communicating with my close friend loll.

i also wanted to go out, hangout with my friend as well.

But I didn't find the time to meet her since i was always busy.

It's been awhile since i last saw my friend.

She's a very close friend of mine,

hahahah....the last time we hangout was

when i was feeling very messed up last year,

i was feeling miserable.

and we went out whole day,

and she treated me very ex dinner outside.

(LOL i still feel guilty i haven't find the time to treat her back.)

Soon, i'll hunt her down and treat her back in June. HAHAHAH :))

see u nxt time:)
YGoodbye @9:26 AM

Saturday, May 7, 2016

My thoughts

I'm not perfect, i make mistakes.

That's how i got to be who i am now.
I've changed alot throughout my years.

I used to be very shy and quiet person who doesn't mingle with people.

but now, i'm more social than before.

During my year 1 in college, i used to walk around mingling with people.

But since im slow at 3D work...

sadly, i can't walk around and talk much and get to know everyone...sigh.

Anyway...Im not the type to make a move on someone.

If I do it frequently, it means you're friendly to be with. :))

If we don't talk anymore, I wouldn't be surprised.

Im tired enough to let go of meaningless relationships with people.

I've seen people walking in and out of my life.

It has been a repeated cycle in my eyes.

so, I wouldn't be surprised if we stopped talking one day.

i've become numb to it.

fyi, i dislike having small talks related to school...
if you wanna keep in touch with me, don't just talk all about school stuff with me lol.
It's kind of boring and school is stress AF, so i don't wanna talk much on it...^^;
I usually talk to my close friend about life stuff and have some funny/random conversation.

I've tried mingling with people in class,
but most of them weren't really my type to hangout with...
They're either too immature...too hardcore anime/game fan...too boyish...or too girlish/shy type.
I've only found some that I like to talk to. Only some.

I've been arrowed in the heart not once, but twice.

one more arrow to piece my heart won't mean a damn thing to me.

Being just friendly or being shy...

its hard for me to figure it out unless someone tell me...

...that i'm someone who is nice to be with...a good friend...etc...

'Else i would be thinking im annoying...

see u nxt time:)
YGoodbye @12:06 PM

My thoughts

Have you ever thought that,
your efforts in studies,
is like equivalents your character towards life/person?

Study with passion & earn $, enjoy life

= love with passion & earn $, enjoy life??

I was in a bus other day and my eyes widened when i thought about it.

What if i put in so much effort in studying...

and use this same amount of effort on a relationship...

i swear it'll be a relationship blinded by love.

I've sacrificed so much for my studies.

its kind of scary to think i would ever do the same,

sacrificing myself for the person i like.

If i ever do that...considered that bastard special and lucky.

but believe me, if i ever be in a relationship...

i promise i'll love the person very deeply.

I realise school is almost the same thing as love.

You're working so hard for something you like/someone,

yet you do not know how much marks/love you'll get. (lol unless you're brave enough to confess)

Some people just give up, knowing they've been rejected/losing marks.

There are some things that you should have either in relationship/studies.

That is to have some faith and determination, and never ever give up.

PS; i suddenly miss my ex crush so much.

I originally wanted to post this in instagram,
but i decided not to, since my words are too personal so i'm posting here.

see u nxt time:)
YGoodbye @10:07 AM

My thoughts

I'm not gonna reveal out who i'm writing to.
It's meant to be kept as secret.

Dear xxx,

To be honest, I notice every little thing.
We don't really talk much anymore.
I know you've been kind and friendly.
We had stuff in common, we talked and laughed..
I know i won't find someone like you often,
but i wanna say, thanks...
Thanks for being cheerful.
you have a nice charming smile.
I also knew you kind of like me.
I kind of like you too but
I was confuse...
I wan't sure if I like you that way.
But now I know,
It was more of like a friend...a very cherished friend.

I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings indirectly...
I'm sure you have someone by your side now.
so I hope you'll stay cheerful.
Our time was short,
but thanks for being there for me.

xoxo.
_______________________________________
Another unspoken words to someone. But l'll never say who it is.

Dear x,

You may not notice, but i glance at you once in a while.
We don't talk often, but i like your face. :)
But that doesn't mean I like you that way. lol.
my likeness of you wasn't that strong like my ex-crush.
Moreover, I know you have a girlfriend, I don't wanna get involved.

________________________________________

To be honest, I don't fall in love easily.
yeah sure, i can like someone. but it's usually only as a friend.

But if i like someone,
I won't be able to smile at the person,
but i know deep inside im going crazy.
my eyes would sparkle and
I tend to stare at the person alot.
Lastly, i tend to avoid this person at all cost.
whyy??
'cause I don't want my feelings to keep growing
and have a heart break.

Sadly, that's what happened to me with my ex-crush.

I'll post about it next time.

see u nxt time:)
YGoodbye @9:33 AM

My thoughts

Before you start reading,

stop stop, I'm most likely gonna talk about what i really feel in this blog,

since i don''t express myself alot, writing is the best solution for me.

It's a very sad confession,

and if you're someone i know,

please respect me by keeping this a secret.

About me...

I'm actually someone who don't talk about myself a lot.

Because my life inside actually had a lot of problems, and is pretty f-up. to be honest.

But if i ever open up to someone directly,

i swear this person is very special to me and l'll cry if i explain.

but l'm gonna share some of my personal life story here...

don't judge me, okay?

You may think i have good grades...

hardworking...busy all the time...

but...seriously...what you knew is just on the outside. Not the inside.

I literally hated myself, i wish i could forget, but i know i can't.

I don't talk to my childhood friends anymore.

I don't talk to my father, and my elder brother anymore. (even though we live together)

It's quite sad, isn't it?

So it's been almost a year since i last talk to my elder brother, i avoided him.

It has also been 5 months, i avoided talking to my father.

4-5 years, i didn't talk or get to see my childhood friends anymore
we've drifted apart, and some things happened...
I don't think either of us would recognize each other since we've changed alot base on physical appearance.

Even though it has been 4-5 years, I still miss my ex crush.

Never have I liked someone so much like this.

We don't talk anymore, we don't talk anymore

We don't talk anymore, like we used to do
We don't love anymore
What was all of it for?
Oh, we don't talk anymore, like we used to do.

~Charlie Puth - We Don't Talk Anymore.

Such a dramatic life i have, do you really think you knew me?

I'm sorry...

x.

see u nxt time:)
YGoodbye @6:20 AM

My thoughts

I'm gonna start blogging again.

This blog has been here for a long time

and I know i stopped blogging since 2011~2012 lol

So...if u happen to scroll down and read through my old posts with lots of emoji,

.... LOL don't judge me okaayy. Those were 5-6 years ago.

That innocent side of me...i read those posts and i feel life flies by so fast.

Anyway, many things has changed since I stopped blogging.

the reason why im gonna start writing again was becuz

there's too many things i wanted to say....

but i couldn't write so much in a social media post without being judged by ppl lol..

Hence, look forward to my posts~~~ :))

see u nxt time:)
YGoodbye @5:14 AM

Sunday, January 15, 2012

My thoughts

yes, as long as its a insect l will run away~

something to ask? l won't bite :>

see u nxt time:)
YGoodbye @5:28 AM